Safe and Sound

"I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost." Winnie the Pooh


Safe and Sound 
I feel like the narrator of the song is singing this to me.
The last few weeks have been a war that has threatened to "kill my light"

In General Conference I feel like they talked a lot about the Light of Christ, and Peace. (Probably because that's what I am in desperate need of.) And how Christ is the author of peace.
This week I've been trying to find ways to feel that peace, especially amid trials and conference sure gave a lot of ideas to ponder.

I've mentioned before that as I've been preparing to serve a mission, I've been warned that Satan would work 10X harder to destroy me. Check. That's definitely true. But what nobody thought important to tell me was that as Satan worked 10 times harder to destroy me, the Savior fights one hundred times harder to save me.

But, as was pointed out to me, "By definition, trials will be trying. There may be anguish, confusion, sleepless nights, and pillows wet with tears. But our trials need not be spiritually fatal. They need not take us from our covenants or from the household of God." (Neil L Anderson)

In my mind, endure it well has always meant that no matter how bad a trial is, no matter how strong the earthquake was that shook up my life, I was supposed to "bear a song away." That smiling and laughing were the only reasonable way to confront a trial. But the last few weeks, I have been in the "sleepless nights and pillows wet with tears" category. Grimacing through the tears.

I find it interesting though, that even though I feel like Winnie the Pooh, like it's not me that's lost, but my circumstance that is lost. And even though I haven't felt that Healer's balm, Christ has sent His people to be there, where He is not. By that I mean, people that I typically don't hear from, unless I talk to them, have sought me out simply with thoughts of love and encouragement.
Home teachers and visiting teachers have checked in almost daily and have been timed perfectly to the times when my heart needs peace the most, simply to say hi.
Friends, family, co workers, patients, workers at hospitals, SNFs and complete strangers, have risen up and been supportive, though they haven't known it.
Even my roommate, knowing that things are not alright, has jumped in to help, we have a white board in the kitchen which we are now filling with all the names by which Christ is known by.

I guess what I'm getting at, and what I hope the people out there that are like me will know, is that. I may not be okay, I'm pretty far from "okay" right now. But, enduring doesn't mean you have to be okay all the time. You don't have to be ashamed of sleepless nights, pillows wet with tears, anguish, confusion. Enduring and enduring well is that you remember that You will be okay. Because you have Christ on your side. And it's impossible to lose with Him.

What I like most about Winnie's insight is that it reminds of Lehi's dream. I am not lost for know where I am, but however, where I am is lost. I picture in my mind that I'm walking along, holding on to that Iron Rod (don't know what the Iron Rod is? click the link "Lehi's dream" then head over to Mormon.org with questions) and suddenly that mist of darkness appears. I know where I am. I'm at the Iron rod. But where I am has gotten lost. I can't see anymore, the path. And suddenly I have to trust that the Iron rod isn't leading me over a cliff or into danger.

Sometimes, life sucks. The last few weeks, life has kind of sucked. But I've got my Savior on my side. So at the end of the day, I can't lose.

I hope though, that Come Morning light
I will be safe and sound...