11 June 2016


Life in Utah has been a whirlwind of adventure, excitement and shenanigans, much like the rest of my life!

As always, I have no idea if anyone but my sister reads this (someone has to limit my comma usage) but again, as always I don't really write for you, I write for me. It's cathartic, it's pulls me out of my head (and other places if I'm being ornery) and it lets me be. Well. Me. 

That said, if you don't like it, don't like what I say, how I feel, what I think. Don't read it. Or read it and get angry if that's what you choose to do. 

I've been a resident of Utah for almost two weeks and it has been an overwhelming blur of adulting. 

I left California on Tuesday night after many hard and tearful goodbyes and drove to St George. On the way, something pretty cool happened. I was toggling between being excited and nervous to being heart broken and devestated about leaving behind a place full of people that hold my heart and love . I was dreading crossing the California/Nevada state line. What if I never come back? What if I'm not wanted back? I panicked. But as It was time to move on, so move on I must. It was dark and as I was driving across the state line, I saw the most dazzling and bright shooting star that I have ever seen! (Also it's the first one I've seen in over 3 years!). The Lord and I have had this agreement. When I've been the most down, when the world has tried to break me and When my heart and mind have tried to convince me that He doesn't know me, doesn't love me, doesn't care, and neither does anyone else, He has sent a shooting star. I'll sit outside and watch the sky, brooding, or crying, or praying and when I'm at my lowest, the Stars start to cry with me (at least that's what I felt.) and it just became a symbol to me, a reminder that He loves me enough to send me a second. A couple of seconds of light in my darkness. Just to remind me He's there. 

I had been listening to an audiobook about early Mormon prisoners and one of the pioneers who has lost so much and suffered so greatly said something that whispered across my heart and mind, "we must go on, whether we can or not." 

Anyway, the next morning I continued my drive to Salt Lake, met up with Ashlie ❤️ and signed my lease! We unpacked a little, got a smoothie and eventually I went to sleep. 

Thursday was job day. I was going to find a job! By Saturday, I'd had 3 interviews with two more lined up! 

Sunday was church. And let me tell you about Sunday in Utah. It's nuts! We meet at the institute building. Which is HUGE! Apparently 3 STAKES meet there. Three. Stakes! There are 4 chapels so 4 sacraments can happen at the same time. Yeah. There are a lot of humans there! Thankfully my roommate knew where to go and what to do. I had no idea! I met some people. Learned some stuff. Sang and prayed.

Here's another tidbit. Apparently Utah has no diversity. I've been told that since I knew what Utah was (not a urinary tract infection for southern accented folks). Well, my ward has it all. All the diversity. All of it! My ward is like a smorgasbord of the world and I'm kind of in love with it! Also, my wards name is the Riverside YSA ward, which is my home YSA ward. It makes me both really excited and kind of homesick! 

Well, at church they announced a missionary fireside. I like missionaries. I should go! I thought! Plus, it would be nice to make friends! 
This was my Facebook update for how THAT went...
There Was a fireside tonight. I think to myself "self you should go, make friends! But whatever you do, don't say things!" 😑
They asked for experiences of where we would be if we didn't have the gospel, and the Spirit was like "get up. You have things to say!"
Me: "No, I can't say things in public. It will be bad!"
The Spirit: "Stand up!" 
Me: "Are you sure?"
The Spirit: "yeah, I'm pretty good at these things!" 

I stand up, "well, for those of you who remember the show cops, my family was on that show. (Laughter) we weren't the good guys... (Lots of laughter) so without the Gospel and the Lord being so individual, I'd probably be a national celebrity... And in prison..."

I sit down and groan to the spirit "really?!"

The Spirit: "hahahahaha"

Great introduction to the stake presidency, Hall...."

Yeah. For those of you who may have forgotten in the last 4 years or 2 weeks, I am the most awkward person I know! 

I am now gainfully employed! I work as an office assistant at an air filter company. It's a pretty fun environment and once I learn what I'm doing, I won't be so stressed out I think!

Let's see...

Oh yeah! The school cancelled my semester. Dirtbags. It's more annoying than anything else, I have to delay insurance and you know, learning. But I should be able to start in the fall.

Overall, I'm really liking it so far! I've had some really great days, and days that I've been so stressed and lonely.
One of the greatest tender mercies in that, is that on those days I've struggled the most, the days that I'm too tired to call, too worn out to reach out, there has always been a phone call, a text message, an email from someone just reminding me that I am not dead to them yet!

Here's to more adventures!