08 November 2016

It's the End of the World, and I feel fine

Several months ago, when I was a productive member of society and going to school and things, we had to write a persuasive essay. I had no intention of joining the legions of students writing about gun laws, abortion and other hot button topics. Because those have become trite and painful to write, read and listen to. I chose something more entertaining. The words are foolish, but they're true (name that musical and I will love you!). Anyway, I got full marks for the essay, but given what day it is, I find it entertaining. Enjoy!

Zombie apocalypse: disaster or desirous?
        Society today is dictated by Hollywood and social media. This is ever present in the folklore of the zombie. From colleges that have a zombie apocalypse survival plan down to individual families with bunkers filled with guns and who have weekend trainings with their children to teach them the art of tomahawk throwing, society is obsessed with zombies. On the surface, the general feeling for zombies is entertainment. Yet the deeper the subject is dissected, the overwhelming emotion is fear - fear of the apocalypse, fear of decimation, fear of oblivion. Though dreaded and feared, the zombie apocalypse would ultimately benefit the human race as well as the Earth.
        In times of old, natural disasters, plagues and disease were thought of as a way for God to punish the wicked as well as cleanse the Earth. When Noah preached repentance and nobody heard, the Lord sent rain and floods. When the Egyptians made slaves out of the Israelites, He sent plagues. When Israel would not heed the words of Isaiah and repent, Assyria was able to conquer and capture and enslave the Israelites. This is a pattern that is repeated when the human race needs to be humbled and wickedness prevails. Today, people are extremely proud. This is evidenced by this age being labeled the Facebook era. Society has become more self-absorbed and self-centered than ever before. Many people believe the world is more wicked now than ever before. Prophets of old have prophesied this and Prophets today have testified that these prophecies are now being fulfilled. According to Gospel patterns, the world is due for an epic disaster.
        Unfortunately, the word “disaster” compels the mind to react strongly and negatively to what is to come. A zombie threat is a disaster that would bring many positive changes to humanity and to the world. The most prominent would be population control. This planet is overcrowded. Many countries now have bans or incentives against having multiple children. Some places dictate cremation as the only suitable disposal of the dead because there simply is no room left to bury their dead. A zombie apocalypse would benefit both sides of that concern; the dead would kill the living and those left living would rise up and find a way to destroy the “Walking Dead.” As Hollywood has depicted, all know that the only suitable way to ultimately destroy the dead zombie is to destroy the brain and burn the remains. This will free up ground space as the dead will no longer be there, and fewer living people to fight over territories and resources that today are becoming scarcer. No longer would there be fights to have the biggest and the best house. It would take generations to fill what is already built back up. The benefit of a zombie enforced population control is that no one will have to try to keep up with the Jones’, because in all likelihood, the Jones’ will not survive the war.
        Children, youths and adults have all lost some precious and plain truths and skills to the technology boom; common sense and the ability to truly take care of oneself are the most mourned of those lost truths and skills. After the zombie apocalypse occurs, for a time life will return to a simple beat - working off the land, growing and raising food, bartering for the rest. Though there will be technology around, it will take time to get society back on its feet and recovered enough to use it. In this regard, the catastrophe would act as a human race defibrillator. When the heart goes into a rhythm that does not sustain life, paramedics will defibrillate the heart with an electrical voltage low enough to not fry the heart, but high enough to reset it. A catastrophe of this magnitude would act as a way to reset society. All would have to band together to survive and defeat the zombie hoard. This would also force united fronts on contentious political debates such as tax reform and immigration. It will not matter how one would normally vote. When struggling for survival, neither Democrats nor Republicans will have time to check on someone’s legal residence or worry about if the big banks are illegally causing bankruptcies, let alone vote on these hot button topics. Obamacare will no longer be up for debate when there are no more insurance companies or hospitals. When society is able to organize itself into once again having local leaders, society will not have to suffer through months of horrible political ads. And when that leader is later deemed inadequate, the process of removing that leader from power is a lot less troublesome as well. Either they leave town or are fed to one of the remaining zombies.
      The threat of global warming effects, deforestation and general environmental damage will be quickly curbed. Society will once again have to learn to live less dependent on fossil fuels – in fact, they will not be as sorely needed as we will not be driving cars or flying planes. It would take decades before humanity would even be able to start refining oil again. This will greatly reduce the harm to the environment caused by these types of machines far more efficiently than any current proposals issued from governments arguing the topic today.   
        While television shows and Hollywood movies portray the Zombie Conflict to be “the end of the world”, it does not have to be so. As with the patterns seen of old, communities will rebuild, the earth will have time to renew and recover. Society will rebuild stronger and better, for a time. Of course there will be drawbacks - no more Saturday night movie theatre trips, processed cheese will be a thing of the past and eventually the world’s supply of deodorant will run out. The benefits far outweigh those drawbacks – worldwide unity such as has never been seen before, a cleaner and stronger environment, humans once again being capable of self-sufficiency, and the destruction of Fox news and overall corrupt politics. As the popular lyrics say: “It’s the end of the world as we know it … and I feel fine.”