...If it came out of a persons' body, don't kneel in it.
...If it comes in projectile form, duck...
...When somebody tells you not to try something... trust them.
...Fabreeze can de-funk a lot... It cannot however, de-funk the smell of dead mouse.
...It is never okay to ask a woman when she is due, unless expressly told by said woman that she is pregnant...
...If you ask a 90+ year old man if he is "embarasada" you might get punched...
...If I don't commit the night before, it will not happen in the morning, for example, if I tell myself "I should wake up in the morning to run", when that alarm goes off, I will decide "I can run when I wake up, but right now, I'm going back to bed" ...
...If you are kind to people, 9/10 they will be kind to you...
...When I am reliable, people ... rely ... on me. It's a concept. Weird how it works.
...It could always be worse, I am not internally decapitated!
...At this stage of my life, life is about the little things. Random dance parties at the intersection. Waving frantically at the cars around you like you know them. Recognizing the little miracles. Watching "The Game" with the guys and asking absurd questions (like if we're watching football, "Soo... that was a basket, right?").
...Sleep is a supremely beautiful and wonderful thing, one of those things that I willingly give up to do boring, lame, unexciting or downright awful things... silly
...The best game to play in stressful situations, is finding the strangest things to be grateful for, and turning a situation amusing, even if it's dark humor.
... Prayer changes things. Try it...
...Running is kind of a useless sport. You run to get better at running, so that you can be faster at running. Unless you are running from something (something that is moaning about the need for brains) or running too something (to catch a ball, to hug a friend etc) it's kind of dumb. and I'm kind of enjoying it...
...It's probably best not to sing "another one bites the dust" whilst performing CPR. It's kind of bad form...
...Everybody has some kind of problem or another. Nobody is exempt...
...If it's not broken, don't fix it!
...If you have a taser and are determined to help, don't aim for a moving target where half the target is friend, and half the target is foe!..
...If you get pulled over, police love to hear excuses like "No sir, I know that you took one look at me and had to invite me to the annual police officers' ball!"
...cutting down on "essentials" like a car, a smartphone and other electronic things has given me my life and hobbies back!
...It's not always easy to remember that just because I'm awake, doesn't mean the person I'm texting is awake.
...Just because she got the guy, doesn't make her prettier, doesn't make her better...
...Just because she got the guy, doesn't make her prettier, doesn't make her better...
My life is anything but dull
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