فرح

Joy

There is so much going on right now. So many good, a few not so good, some sad and everything in between.

Grandpa died on September 18. Even amid all the heart ache, I can't believe the number of blessings that came from that.

On the 14th, I was working AMR 01 that day. It had been a relatively busy day. Eventually, we got toned to a psych patient, who was off his meds. Dispatch advised us that every time he's been transported before, he has been hobbled. Greeeeaaat...
Sometimes I have the ability to calm people down and somehow with this guy I worked magic I didn't possess and kept him calm the whole time. He was a doll with me.

As we dropped him off at the ER and we were walking in the door, I inwardly mocked the parking of Estes Park ambulance. Their one ambulance had managed to take up an entire ER bay. Impressive. New guy..... I thought.
Later as I walked from the patients' room, the 8 police officers that made up our motorcade offered their congratulations for having not gotten the crap kicked out of me.

I saw my favorite registration crew on, so off I went to chat with them. As I said my hellos and chatted, I noticed behind the desk was Grandma. And she looked terrified.
"Grandma, what are you doing here?" I asked.
"They brought your Grandfather in. They think he had a stroke." She said, voice shaking.

It was a challenging time. But still we were blessed.

• my supervisors were not only kind, but incredibly supportive. checking in on me, providing caffeine and meals for the family. It was incredible.
• The Hospital staff knew me, and so my family was treated with the utmost respect.
• The nursing staff was great about keeping me informed and tolerated my questions and micromanaging their medicine.
• My partner would check on me, everytime he was at the hospital
• Marshall, Katie and Olivia came to visit us. And I got to see Olivia walk. and then Mom and Dad walking like Olivia. My abs still hurt from the laughter.
• I got to use my family transport on Grandpa. That meant one less bill for Grandma
• I got to be the one to transport Grandpa.
• I got to be reconnected with family. The map on the family tree is challenging to follow, but their family.
• Usually it was Grandma and I that stayed at night. During the day, everyone else was there. Grandma always had his Right hand, and I always got his left hand at night. I'm so grateful for those nights. I'm so grateful that while Grandma slept, when everyone else went home, I got to have time.

It was tough, and it still is. But I'm grateful for those 4 days. I know those four days can't make up for a lifetime of almost no contact with family. But it was worth the shot.

Life is good. Even when it's bad.

Never giving up

There is a lot to be grateful for this month. There's a lot to be grateful every minute of every day. Even when I forget that. Even when the world forgets that. Even when I'm temporarily devestated. Or when I feel like the only reasonable thing to do is cry.

Tonight, I am particularly grateful for the statement made by Elder Jeffrey R Holland:

Don’t give up

Don’t you quit.

You keep walking.

You keep trying.

There is help and happiness ahead

–a lot of it–

You keep your chin up.

It will be all right in the end.

Trust God

and believe in good things to come.’

I forget to trust God. And I forget that there is help and happiness ahead. I forget and I hold on to my pride.

 

 

But there IS happiness ahead. And God will not lead us astray. Sometimes, I wish that all I had to do was know God. How simple is that? You can study Him in His word. Through His prophets. With inspiration from the Spirit. But then you have to DO. I'm not always good at the doing part.

 

 

So here's to the future. To the help and the happiness ahead. Here's to the good things to come.

Time to lace up my boots and DO.

November: Gratitude month

This month has the potential to be very interesting. There are a lot of possibilities around each corner that I am itching to see their outcomes. But as my life picks up, I'm reminded that this month is the month of gratitude.

My goal this month is to take a few minutes out of each day to simply be grateful.

So today, on day one.

I am grateful for my family. For my mom who enough good couldn't be said about. To name a few, the woman who worked however jobs necessary to keep me healthy and happy.
Who loved me when I was mean, when I was bratty, when I was down right difficult to love.
Who stood beside me while my life fell apart, and then picked me up again
The best praise is in the name itself "Mom." I love that lady.

My siblings. Alex and Tess. Alex who grounds me and willingly is my sounding board. Who is my all-around fix-it guy. Who lets me nerd out and still likes me. Who throws my laundry in the drier when I forget. Who that one time chased the girl away with a broom because she wanted to fight me. And Tess. Who is the other half of me. Who speaks my level of nerd and loves it. Who will understand that when I'm upset or pissed, I need ice cream and movies where zombies get violently killed. Who tolerates my incessant talking and calls me on my crap. And the honorable mention of Seth, the brother-in-law. Who at first I thought hated me. And now I truly cherish as a brother. Who cooks better then anyone I know and is good at pretty much everything he's ever tried. Ever. Who found out I had never been given flowers before, so on Valentines a few years ago, got the sister unit flowers and got me some too. I'll keep him

My Aunts and Uncles. Uncle Johnny. He and I have been buds since I was born. He's the rock, the comedian, the family wise guy, both in sarcasm and in wisdom. Who supports my crazy dreams, knowing that I need to do my own thing. Who protects me, and supports me. Who loves me, even when I'm not sure I love me. Aunt Marsha. Crazy, silly, funny, loyal. there are so many adjectives to describe her. My favorite: mine. ha. Take that world. She's MY Aunt. Wouldn't trade her for anyone. And the 90 other Aunts and Uncles (we reproduce like Mormons. Like Catholics. Like Bunny Rabbits) I love you all. Even if you didn't get your own section.

Grandfolk. Most are dead. But what gives me comfort in that, is they will be there so it's not as scary when it's my turn to walk through the veil. I miss them terribly. Grams, who I was closest with is never far from my thoughts (And really, she could speak 8 languages, and swear in 13. or something in that ball park. People wonder where my sass comes from.) Mama. Whose faith led me to consider that maybe there was something more. Who helped shape my idea of what faith meant. And living that faith. Grandpa John. Who bought me my first bike. Who always loved me, no matter how many years seperated us.
Grandma Blenda. There aren't enough words to describe her spunk. She's got the strength of an army. The love of a nation. The compassion of a saint. She is truly incredible, I am just the luckiest person to call her my grandma
Grand-dad. He lives in Spain. and he's awesome. The kind of awesome they write legends about! And I love his wife too. Tricia is British and I love when she talks.
Papa, he is a GIANT! I love that.

And the various people who have become family, even though they aren't mapped on my family tree. Who have stood beside me, who have guided me. Who have lifted me when I've been too weary to keep going. Who have caused shenanigans, mischief and tomfoolery.

I am grateful especially this year, that through the crises, through the devestation that this family has endured this year, distant relations grew stronger. Family bonds grew deeper. Through tragedies and good times and distance, we are ever learning to hold on.

Yes, today. On day one. I am grateful for one of God's greatest gifts. Our families. My family.