Tender Mercies

What a series of Tender Mercies, the last 7 weeks have been! It seems there were blessings flowing from every corner!

So, I had surgery on the 18th of January. After the disaster that was the first attempt at surgery, I woke up the morning of the 18th really frightened. No kidding, my knees shook.
I knew my family was coming so I offered a silent prayer, asking for strength to follow Elder Edgley in this last General Conference address, which stated:

                "... So I say, choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and unseen, and choose faith over pessimism ..."


I wanted to choose faith over fear, though it was difficult. A feeling I can't quite translate into words gently eased the knots of fear, and the dread in the pit of my stomach with a reassuring peace. Things would be okay.

As I, and my pack of supporters appeared at the hospital, I had no more fear, some anxiety over the cost, but no fear over the procedure. I knew I had work to do, so I wouldn't die in surgery. I made it through almost the entire pre-op stay without versed or valium (now I don't remember what was given, I'm thinking the former..) as the tech wheeled me back, and I bid farewell to my family, I offered another silent prayer, this time, not for fear, but for the surgeons to have steady hands and skill. (And to please not sneeze with scalpel in my knee!)
I moved over to the other bed and asked the tech to hold my hand until I was under, which he willingly did.

Before I knew what had happened, I was opening my eyes and the ET tube was being pulled from my trachea (I'd never woken up before that point in any of my previous surgeries. Weird experience and really unpleasant. I don't recommend it!)
I raised my hand, incase the open eyes and coughing weren't enough to alert the staff to my consciousness.

Before long, my surgeon came to my bedside, still heavy on the narcotics (yay dilaudid!) I asked the only 2 questions that seemed important at the time.
"Did you intubate or use an LMA?" I croaked past the dry throat.
From a far off land, I heard him laugh. "We intubated."
I pondered that for a moment, giving my dignified response of: "Oh... what tube size am I?"

EMT through and through, I guess (size 6, if you're wondering)

Before long techs and nurses were at my side, instructing me to take fuller breaths and to not fall asleep because I would forget to breath.
Though most of the hour long post-op experience is fuzzy and almost entirely nonexistant in my memory I'm told that time and time again, when asked if I needed/wanted anything I simply asked for
"just my mom, please?"
"She can't come back here" I was told apparently.
Believing this was because they believed we would cause a ruckus where others too, had just returned from the OR, I replied: "She'll be real quiet, and I'm sleeping most of the time, anyway."
"No, it's for the other patients' privacy" they told me.
"Oh..." I considered this for a few moments. "She can wear earmuffs!"
The nurses laughed and said they would see what they could do.
Within moments, I was informed "If you can stay awake and keep your SATs above 90, you can go to recovery and see your mom."
I was hooked. I sat up and forced my eyelids open, not really seeing much. I opened my mouth, imagining trying to shove a giant cheeseburger in (hey, I was hungry!) and breathed as open-mouthed as possible. In no time, a gentleman, whose name I never actually listened to, appeard by my bed.
"Alright, we're going to move you to this chair instead of the bed." He told me, stepping back to allow me to traverse the 4 foot drop, swing around and land in this chair, while having narcotics onboard, a knee in a brace bigger than life and connected to Oxygen.
"I'm not sure I can do that. Can I just take the whole bed with me?" I asked. eyeing the floor. "That's an awful far way to fall.." By then, I was sitting on the side of the bed.
Post-op man easily gave me an awkward bear hug, pulled me onto my good leg, swung me around and put me in the chair.
Huh, easier than I thought....

Recovery was a short endeavor. I was home within a few hours of there. And proceeded to sleep for almost 3 days straight.

My surgeon instructed me that with the total ACL tear with the patellar-tendon graft, I shouldn't walk for 5-7 days, yet with the miniscus tear I was also sporting, I should walk within 2-3 days.
4 days later, I was down to one crutch and a week or so after that, I was down to a cane, which I used for a few short days before I ditched them all.

By the time I got to physical therapy, I was told that I was 2 weeks ahead of schedule and was making steady progress.

By the halfway mark (6 weeks, which was last week) I was informed by my surgeon that under no circumstances should my knee be as strong as it is today, that the strength and amount of healing and grafting between my knee and new ACL, wasn't usually seen until 10-12 weeks. After that he stated simply, "you can go back to work in 2 weeks."
So, I will take the physical Agility test on Friday the 18th and hopefully be back on tour that next tour.

If that's not a Tender Mercy I don't know what is!
I have been blessed.
Although, I have to say. I LOVE my shift, I love the people I work with, I love the 48s. I don't love the rotating part, something I've grown quite fond of, is attending all my meetings consecutively. It's been great. That's something I will miss. I'll have to miss 2 sundays a month. Plus choir and Institute and FHE. That'll be hard to get used to, but things will work out. I have faith.

Speaking of choir, we're singing a song by Janice Kapp Perry that makes me cry everytime we sing it, it's called I Marvel at the Miracle, and here are the lyrics

I marvel at the miracle

Of God’s great love for me
I try but cannot comprehend
And ask how this could be
For I had left behind my God
And lost my way through sin
Still God loved me and sent His son
To lead me back to Him

I wearied of my weaknesses
And trials fill my days
I cried out, bore my burdens far
Is there no other way
He said I give man weaknesses
And if they come to me
I give them strength to overcome
And I will make them free
I pled with God to shed his grace
And take away my sin
He did and yet I turned away
And stumbled once again
At last I knelt before his throne
And offered him my soul
He wept and gave it back to me
Renewed and washed and whole

I wonder at the grace divine
And power to redeem
That Christ alone could overcome
And change eternity
My thanks can not sufficient be
My praise is incomplete
For all I gave, my debt remains
God’s great gift to me