Dream Dibe is a dirtbag

Some people have alter-egos. Some people claim voices, blame hormones and PMS or mental health difficulties. Some people cite shoulder angels and Devils for their decision making process.

I try to be pretty honest with people. "I'm kind of a dirt bag, I'm just really good at hiding it!" 

It turns out, my dirtbaggery is conditional. On sleep. 

No kidding.

There was a day that I woke up and my feet were covered in grass, my bed room door was locked and the back door was swinging open. 

"Clearly I was abducted by aliens!" I reasoned.

"Or kidnapped and when they realized that holding me for ransom would not only NOT yield a financial gain, but that they'd most likely end up paying to give me back, they snuck me back in bed before I ever woke up!" I was sure some kind of tom foolery had taken place.

Later that morning, as I was climbing the stairs at work, my Fitbit told me that I had accomplished my daily goal of waking 10,000 steps. 

Weird... I've only been awake for about and hour and a half... I checked my GPS, apparently Dream Dibe was feeing a little cooped up, and went for a late night stroll. A 3 mile stroll. Thanks Dream Dibe, getting my exercise whilst asleep.

A week or Two later. I awoke and something was amiss. 

This says: Dear Dibe. Look down! Do you know where your ring and necklace are? I do. Good luck. Game on! Dream Dibe.

Sure enough, when I looked down, my necklace and my ring were missing. I searched everywhere and a few days later, I found my necklace folded up in a pair of socks. The ring is still at large. 

A few nights ago, I dreamed a dream. A dreamt that my arm had been amputated in a horrific accident, after a quick recovery, Dream Dibe was angry. Angry and bitter. Not because of an amputation. No. Dream Dibe was pissed because she had an Arsenal of great one-legged jokes and zero one armed jokes. She was angry that the right limb hadn't been destroyed.

So there you have it. Dream Dibe (much like Awake Dobe) values a good joke over necessities like walking.