Learning is good!

I've learned some important things over the last few weeks! I thought I'd share:

• Judgment does not, in fact, have an 'e' between the g and the m!

• La Jolla, a city in Southern California, is not pronounced "la joll-uh". It is pronounced "la hoy-ya" 

• When you're doing a spy job, it is important to know how to say the name of the city you're in, or nobody takes you seriously (see above)

• Family comes in many shapes and sizes. And that's okay.

• On a scale of 0 - Mormon, I'm like a 3. Why? 

Those are supposed to be cookies. They're more like hockey pucks. Also there was that time I reverse engineered a cake, defying the laws of physics. Or the time I almost burnt down a fire station grilling chicken. Also, I can't quilt. Awkward.

• "Enduring it well" does not mean you have to be okay. It doesn't mean you don't feel pain or sorrow or fear. It just means you realize that you will eventually get through those feelings! (So don't get discouraged because you're not "enduring" well!)

• Heart attacks (the kind where one attacks you with hearts, not the kind where cardiac tissue does!) are never a bad choice. And I couldn't be more grateful.

You are more.

Life has a way of forcing us to deal with our deepest pains. Our deepest fears tend to find their way in, even when we feel at our weakest. 

Let's face it. Sometimes, life sucks.

We are riddled with doubts, sorrow, tears and guilt. Our hearts break, our hands hang down and our knees grow feeble. Sometimes we even lose faith that Jesus Christ will love us, can love us.

We fear and allow Satan to convince us that we are not good enough. That our efforts of repentance and salvation mean nothing. We think we are lost and doomed forever. We feel unloved.

My journey to find peace really began when I started going to church. I was 12 when I went regularly. I learned about prayer, what prayer is, why we pray and then how to pray. From the night I first learned of prayer and every night following, I prayed to know one thing, "Do you love me, Father in Heaven?" 

It seemed simple. I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. 

I didn't get an answer.

For years.

During those years, so many things happened. Good, bad, ugly. I feared greatly that my Heavenly Father was showing me how He felt, rather than telling me simply to "get lost." 

Still, I prayed.

I just wanted to know He was there. I needed to hear it from Him, one way or the other.

Then one day, I was done. I couldn't do it anymore. I was tired of picking up the pieces without the love of my Savior, I was sick of praying to a Heavenly Father who wouldn't listen to me. I decided to give the Lord one last chance.

I prayed. 

And nothing happened.

Nothing. No comfort, no angelic visitation, no peace. Nothing.

I was crushed. After shedding copious amount of tears and shaking my fist at Heaven (don't worry, I have since repented of that!) I turned one last time to my Scriptures.

Paul taught me something incredible:

"What, know ye not that ... ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price..." 

Nephi then taught me that night:

"... Behold, Zion hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me - but He will show that he hath not ... Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me." 

My walls, whatever they may be, are before me and my Savior. Just as they are for you. 

I could site account after account in the scriptures where the Savior rescues, heals and protects. Truly EVERY account in the Holy Scriptures testifies of His mercy, His goodness and His compassion. He healed all who came to Him.

"Yeah Dibe, but I can't come to Him. I'm too broken. I've made too many mistakes." 

To you, I challenge you to take a good long hard look at the photo above. He knows your name, He's known your name since before you were born. In fact, He paid for those mistakes thousands of years before you were born. 

Your face, my face we are graven on His hands. YOUR face is the face He saw when He was tortured and battered and bruised, your face is what gave Him strength to take that lonely walk to Calvary. Your face pulled Him through. 

I know that if YOU had been the only person in the history of humanity, throughout all of eternity to have messed up. If you were the only one to have strayed from the strait and narrow, to have needed a Redeemer so that you could repent. Jesus Christ would have come for YOU. Only you. He would have suffered. He would have allowed Himself to be tortured and ridiculed, beaten and crucified; He would have taken on the pains of Gethsemane, if you had been the only person in the history of Ever to have needed it. 

If He can love me, I know that He loves you.

Tonight, I am grateful for Tenth Avenue for reminding me that even on days that I feel about 4 feet, 8 inches tall, I don't always suck: 

There's a girl in the corner 

With tear stains on her eyes 

From the places she's wandered 

And the shame she can't hide 

She says, "How did I get here? 

I'm not who I once was. 

And I'm crippled by the fear 

That I've fallen too far to love" 

But don't you know who you are, 

What's been done for you? 

Yeah don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 

You are more than the problems you create, 

You've been remade. 

Well she tries to believe it 

That she's been given new life 

But she can't shake the feeling 

That it's not true tonight 

She knows all the answers 

And she's rehearsed all the lines 

And so she'll try to do better 

But then she's too weak to try 

But don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 

You are more than the problems you create, 

You've been remade. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 

You are more than the problems you create, 

You've been remade. 

'Cause this is not about what you've done, 

But what's been done for you. 

This is not about where you've been, 

But where your brokenness brings you to 

This is not about what you feel, 

But what He felt to forgive you, 

And what He felt to make you loved. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 

You are more than the problems you create, 

You've been remade. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 

You are more than the problems you create, 

You've been remade. 

You've been remade 

You've been remade. 

You've been remade. 

You've been remade.

Goodbye 2014, ring in 2015

This year has flown by. Last year in Christmas, I was spending the day and evening with the Devicariis family and my wonderful companion Ashlie Gowans and our "other half", which was the other companionship in our ward, Sisters Boyd, Gatrell and Mathews. We were eating delicious food and truly celebrating Christmas. 

Christmas as a missionary is a special special thing.

Christmas has been celebrated on 25 December since around 354 AD, it's the day you celebrate Jesus Christ and His ministries here on earth. Truly, His mission began long before His mortal birth to Mary in a stable in Bethlehem, and it did not end at His death on the cruel cross of Calvary. As a missionary you get a glimpse of the Savior's character and mission in mortality because you are doing all you can to emulated Him and to follow His example of love and compassion. So His day is special.

I had no idea that the next Christmas, this Christmas, I would be living in Riverside, living with the most Christlike people I have really ever known. I hadn't known I would no longer be a missionary. I didn't know that I could be happy with being released early. But here I am, happy. In Riverside, no longer employed by Jesus Christ. My best friend is still the Spirit but just not to the extent as a missionary. And I'm happy. I guess the Big Guy knows what He's doing or something... Weird! 

So yesterday we were thinking about that last year and preparing for the next. 

As a missionay, you learn how to set manageable goals. So here are my goals for 2015. 

• Magnify every calling 

• Go surfing

• Grow spiritually

• Go on at least one date a month (hey. I'm in a singles ward. I figured it would be a goal to show that I'm trying. Right?!)

• Invite at least one person a month to come closer to Jesus Christ

• Help at least one person enter the waters of baptism in the year of 2015

• Take a language course

• Take piano lessons

• Begin quilting my mission quilt

• See Wicked live on stage

• Work in the Temple

This year is going to be a good one. 

Today I am so grateful for the enabling power of Jesus Christ. His suffering in Gethsemane and death on Calvary and rising from the tomb not only gives me the choice to be saved from sin, but He also enables me to serve when I don't have the energy. He enables me to grow when Satan wants me to shrink. He loves me. He enables me. 

With Him I am nothing, nobody. Yet He can see through that and knows me for who I can be. This night and every night, is about Him.

Now the real work begins

Talofa!

I've drafted this no fewer than 15 times, trying to find the word to describe how I feel, what's been going on and where things in life have taken me. And as always, the words are never quite enough.

Obviously, I'm home from the mission. Some days, I feel okay, most days, I feel like I've grieving over the death of someone I love. It's a bizarre feeling. Though, I'm happy to say that through Christ's enabling power, lots of prayer and many tears, I'm feeling less like a failure every day. Missions begin and missions end. Mine ended, albeit, earlier than I would have preferred.

At first, I felt like I was the scum of the earth. I failed my mission. Can't I get anything right? Whew, that Satan is good. He knows how to kick you when you're down. I immediately disregarded all that I was able to do. The lessons I helped teach. The children of God I was able to influence, and mostly, those who influenced me.

I'm happy now to say that I have learned that my calling is no less than it was before. It may not be at the battles front, yet my Lord will have need of me. 

So I accomplished a major bullet on my bucket list: serve a full time mission. (This one was added shortly before my mission, convenient, yeah?)

Here are some bucket list bullets now:

• Become a Primary pianist

• skydive. And live. (Key aspect.)

• Earn a Master's degree.

• Visit a foreign country.

• go to Jerusalem (so technically, the previous goal is visit multiple foreign countries)

• Be fluent in 3 languages

• Meet the Prophet

• Meet Elder Holland

• See the pyramids. The ones in Egypt

• Sing in front of a crowd, and not suck

• Publish something awesome!

• Go surfing

• Ride a roller coaster 3 times in a row

• Go to Disneyland (where I ride a roller coaster 3 times in a row.)

• Go see Wicked, live, on stage!

• Quilt a blanket.

3/10/14 - The greatest sound I've ever heard is the sound of water running in the church

Honorable Mentions:

Sister Packie! My mama! (Mom, this means she trained me. I have not replaced you)

The Lolotai's! My Comp is from Hawai'i. She was really excited that I knew REAL Hawai'ians . (Do you put the apostrophe in Hawaiian?)

Sista Gowans!!! I LOVE your middle name. Also, I'm a creeper

This week has been crazy! We've worked really really hard this week. Which is good, because we're missionaries and such. That's always good to work hard when the Lord is your boss. But our efforts paid off. We hit the standard again. The Standard is a pain in the neck. But I get that we need to aim for something specific to improve. Now that we've been hitting the standard, we're shooting past it. That's fun. I love reaching goals and exceeding them. Even if I truly and sincerely HATE numbers.

Oh. Fun fact. On 16 March, I will have been a missionary for 8 months. Is that crazy? I'm almost halfway into my mission! (Except that I'm going to extend for 3 or 4 years. Don't give me that look, Gowans. I can't do 10 years! I want to read books that I don't need a dictionary to understand! And you're still planning my wedding... So eventually I need to go home for that.)

We had a baptism yesterday in one of the best services I've been to! It's such an evidence that being obedient and hard working will pay off. The ward was working hard to be obedient. WE were working hard to be obedient. We weren't finding anyone (which was really frustrating) and in walks a family that were just ready. The Lord blessed us and prepared a way for them to find the Gospel, even though we didn't find them. Anyway, he just walks into church a few weeks ago and says that he needed to go back to church and we came to find out, he wasn't baptized. They are just Golden and ready to follow the Savior. It's been a huge blessing to get to be a part of their journey!

He is baptizing his daughters on Friday and they are all going to the Temple on Saturday. What an incredible blessing! I am so excited to be able to be a missionary.

So I hear we're almost at war with Ukraine? Is that legit? Anyone stocking up on guns and food and building motes around their homes yet? For real though... What is happening? And something is going down in Venezuela? Missionaries are being recalled or something. Nuts. NOBODY WORRY! There is NO SEIGE IN SUN CITY! Whew. I knew the concern was there. But seeing how this community is like 80% old...

Pray for the people in those country's and the leadership there. The world needs help. Lots of it.

Let's see. Some adventures of this week.

President said we could be on bike! Why?. because he loves us. Also because we need to save some miles. So we're going to go buy my companion a bike today and me a helmet and lights and a lock and such. If you have fun bike accessories you don't want or need, this girl is becoming a biking missionary!

I tried a kumquat. Gross.

People decorate their lawns with plastic deer. Old people LOVE plastic deer. We counted 14 this week.

Also, people get little pebbles and pain them green for their lawn. That's funny stuff. Or Astro-turf. I am in a-whole-nother world out here, people.

I've basically become an expert of funeral's here. I've been in Sun City for like 8 weeks. We've have 3 funerals since I've been here. It's way sad. But really, at least it's not 3 funerals in like a YSA ward. That would be worse, I think. Am I a dirt bag for saying that? Probably. Nevertheless. There you have it.

Let's see. I love this work. I love the people. (I haven't sent anymore to the hospital)

My companion is GREAT! She's so much fun. She's Hawaiian. I said that before, but it's important enough to reiterate. Again and again. Sometimes I have random dance parties and she laughs and doesn't judge me to my face. That's about all I can ask She's a rockstar teacher. She tells it how it is, and I LOVE that. We're a pair, that's for sure. And we work hard at being obedient so that we can qualify for miracles. It's wonderful. I love my missionary life.

Apparently there are a new set of scriptures out? Are they awesome? Since when did they release a new set? That's crazy. I used to know things! Remember that? That was fun.

Well friends, family and townspeople. I love you. I'm grateful for you.

I'm grateful for your prayers and love.

Be good. Remember who you are. Make good choices.

Always choose the right. Unless you need to go left, then you should probably go left. (haha. Thanks Gowans!)

Love and Peace and Stuff!

3/3/14 -- The Library

Hi everyone and people.

We don't have much time, the Sun City Library booted us off the computer, because they don't want salvation... I mean, they hate the Celestial Kingdom. No! They are pals with Satan!

Okay, they computer system went down and they were too lazy to call the IT peeps. I almost called the Brother Unit to fix it. But I didn't. I was obedient and annoyed. So. we found another set of computers in public to borrow. Good times.

This week was a little nuts. We had rain. Apparently the locals here think it was Armageddon. Rest assured people who are not in Sun City... It was NOT Armageddon. We had steady rain. Not torrential down pours. No mudslides, or land slides or anything (in my area anyway). That said, the city did not plan for rain. So all the roads were flooded. Which was obnoxious. We couldn't do a whole lot of work. Because we literally couldn't go anywhere. Blasted rain. There was only one time I wasn't sure if the car would make it through the puddle. So we climbed out and trudged the waters to see how deep it was. People mocked. Whatever, we didn't drown.

That said, for the first time ever, this missionary hit the standard of excellence. 'BOUT TIME!!! AHHHH... That was way hard. But whatever we did it! This is going to be an awesome transfer. We have 3 people on date for this month with a bunch of other investigators who could totally be dunked soon.

We worked way hard. I tracted for the first time in 7.5 months. Good times. Met some fun people

Here's some news from home:  the work is progressing out there!! I pray for that all the time. And people are getting married! Wow. So much is happening.Thanks for telling me that you all are getting married, by the way.. You may now repent!

...

Kidding....

Sorta...

No but really. I wish I could be there. So I came up with a perfect solution. For all my folks getting hitched. Andrew, Seth, Sabrina, Wes. You may get a 3" picture cut out of me and hide them in all of your wedding pictures. And then send them to me so I can find them! Perfect!

Here are some excerpts from other people's emails because I'm out of time today: 

The weather here isn't too bad. People were kind of stressed, thinking this would be the "storm of the century." And maybe it was for them. It was a steady rain for a few days and the roads flooded. There was a little damage, a few little trees got toppled and some shrubbery got pruned... naturally... by the wind. haha. That's about it. Still, the people who built the city didn't build it for rain so most of the roads weren't passable. My area didn't have any land slides, and as far as I know my mission was unaffected. The whole area fasted for rain. We got it! Prayers are answered!

The Lord is so mindful of us and He fills our lives with Tender Mercies. Big ones and small ones. We have been working really hard here in Sun City, and when I got here, I was told "There is no work here. We just work with Less Active members." And that was hard to hear. We know that the Lord is hastening His work. Evidence of such is that right before I got into the mission field, the California Riverside Mission split. We lost about half of our missionaries. According to my zone leaders, the number of baptisms doubled AFTER we lost half of our missionaries. So with half of the army we had before, twice the work was being done.

Anyway, back to the story. Our purpose as missionaries is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them to receive the Restored Gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, Repentance, Baptism, Receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost and Enduring to the End.

Our purpose is to Find, Teach and Baptize. And I wasn't down with not being able to do my job. So we've been working really hard. Talking to everyone that we see. Inviting everyone repent and be baptized. We've been working so hard. We haven't been seeing any results to our hard work. It's been hard. But two weeks ago a gentleman walked into church and said: "Bishop, I need to start getting back to church. My girls aren't baptized and my wife isn't a member." It turns out, he'd never been baptized. And they are Golden. We taught, prayed (and fasted), and invited them to be baptized. Dad is getting baptized this Sunday (5 pm, PST at th eStake Center in Sun City) and he will be baptizing his daughters the next Sunday!

We did ALL that we could. And the Lord prepared someone to come to us, even though we didn't find him.

The Lord is so aware of us. Aware of who needs us, and who we need. It is truly incredible to be a part of the missionary force of the Savior. This is truly His work. There's a Scripture in Exodus that I'm learning to love:

"Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will ^ashew to you to day ...

  The Lord shall ^afight for you, and ye shall hold your ^bpeace."

This is the Lord's work, and sometimes, we need to just let Him do some of the work. We do all we can, He will bless us for our efforts. Sometimes, it isn't in baptisms. Sometimes it's in patience, or a stronger capacity to love. But He blesses. He ALWAYS blesses.

Anyhow. I love you people. Very much

Smile. Doubt not, fear not.

Love you!

Sister Hall

2/24/14 Transfer #6: The transfer of Charity and Love

Hola Amigos, Familia and otras personas. (Loosly translated: Hey peeps)

So. out here in Sunny California, we're looking at some rain this week. Lots of it. (Hopefully not Colorado - style. I forgot to pack my floaties)

Honorable mentions:

Sabrina

the Schneider's

Sister Larsen!!

Well, this week was Jake week. Which is where no work actually gets done. That said, we had 23 lessons,

put 3 people on date to be baptized (March 23)

Not too bad for Jake Week.

Transfer news: my companion is being transferred to Mt Rubidoux where she will be in a trio. I think that'll be good for her. She needs a change of scenery. A change in companions. Just change.

I survived. I'll be staying here with Mama D, my wonderful home share and my new companion will be Sister Ni'ihau. She is from Hawai'i. She's apparently awesome. And that's exciting. I love awesome people. It should be fun.

Hmmm. I think that's it for transfer week but President Smart emailed this out this week to the missionaries and I love it, so I'm sharing it:

“If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.”

Our attitude makes all the difference. Whatever we choose, generally, is right. If we think the weather is bad, then we're right. If we think the weather is good, then we're right. We can't change the weather, but if we choose to make it an issue, either good or bad, then it is. The same is true of our area, our companion, our ward, our investigators, etc. Whatever it is, it's as good (or as bad) as you make it.

Choose to be happy. Choose to make the most of whatever opportunity (challenge) God's put in your path. The opportunity (challenge) won't change, but if you approach it with a positive attitude then the Lord will bless and strengthen you and your opportunity (challenge) will become easier and you will rise above whatever it is that otherwise would slow you down. Your opportunity (challenge) is all in how you choose to look at it.

This is going to be a good transfer. Work will happen.

In the Words of Joseph Smith:

The Standard of Truth has been Erected. No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing. Persecutions may rage. Mobs may combine. Armies may assemble. Calumny may defame. But the Truth of God will go forth boldly, Nobly and independent until it has penetrated every continent. Visited every Climb. Swept every country and sounded in every ear. Till the purposes of God have been accomplished and the Great Jehovah shall say, the work is done.

I love you. I'm extremely grateful for the love and support and encouragement I've received this transfer. It's really really meant the world to me. Who knew it was so needed on a mission? Weird.

The Pictures. Picture 1: My Valentine. His name is Kaden. He gave me a reese's. That's love.

PS. My stroke-y left eye fell out again. anyone know how to stop the left eye from stroking in pictures?

Picture two. Our zone of Sisters.

Picture 3: Sister Pyper and I. We were definitely meant to find each other. She's a forever friend.